By 謝忠理 on Wednesday, 12 April 2023
Category: 托福

托福寫作—新制學術討論寫作如何準備?

托福主辦單位 ETS 宣布在 2023 年中將進行改版,其中重大變化是取消原本的獨立寫作,新增學術討論寫作。而這個學術寫作考些什麼,又要如何準備?欲參加 2023 新版托福 iBT 考試的考生不可不知。

【經典美語】獨家課程
〈寫作職人〉謝忠理老師親授

托福寫作 25+ 輕鬆取分

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托福寫作一直停在 20 出頭?那應該是沒有掌握寫作取分秘訣。

托福考生只要具備「國中英文文法能力」,搭配「高中英文單字能力」,我們就有把握利用短短 4 堂【托福寫作專修班】課程,帶您掌握托福寫作通關密碼,穩穩拿到 25+ 的寫作分數。

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課程說明請點選下列按鈕,並歡迎預約試聽 (實體、雲端)。

托福寫作—學術討論寫作如何準備?

托福考試主辦機構 ETS 在 2023 年 4 月 11 日於 官方網站上 宣布,托福考試將從當年 7 月 26 日開始,變更考試方式,目的是要給考生一個「更佳的體驗」(“The world’s most respected and accepted English-language test now offers an even better experience!”)。

至於為什麼會有更佳的體驗?簡單一句,就是時間變短了。原本閱讀或聽力的加試題全部取消。閱讀測驗從原本考三篇變成兩篇,時間從 54 分鐘縮短到 36 分鐘。取消獨立寫作,改考「學術討論」(Academic Discussion),這部分的寫作時間從 30 分鐘變成 10 分鐘。其他部分則不變,包括各部分的題型與題數。

做了這些改變後,托福考試時間縮短到 2 小時不到,因此 ETS 自豪地說 “This makes it [TOEFL-iBT] the shortest of the three most popular English-language tests.”

那我就是要問,考試又不是唱歌看電影,為什麼要有更佳的體驗?難道想要讓我體驗滿意,再多考幾次?

學術討論 Academic Discussion

言歸正傳,此次托福改版最主要的是取消原本的獨立寫作 (independent writing),改考所謂「較簡短與更現代的寫作考試」(a more concise and modern writing task) 的「學術討論」。

至於這個學術討論到底怎麼回事?

簡單說,學術討論就是短版的獨立寫作。更明白說,就是要將原本的獨立寫作內容濃縮成一個 100 字以上的單一段落

學術討論題型

學術討論題目分為三個部分:Instructions (指引), Question (問題), 與 Discussion (討論)。

下面來看一份學術討論的官方試題。

Instruction 指引

Your professor is teaching a class on political science. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In your response you should:

  • express and support your opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion

An effective response will contain at least 100 words. You will have 10 minutes to write it.

點此看中文翻譯

你的教授正在講授政治學的課程。寫一篇文章 (貼文) 回應教授的問題。

在你的答覆中,你應該:

  • 表達和支持你的觀點
  • 建言獻策

一篇有效的回應將包含至少 100 個字。你將有 10 分鐘時間來進行寫作。

Question 問題

Dr. Gupta

As I mentioned in class, governments make public policies to describe their responses to various problems that affect a community. Part of this process involves setting and defending priorities about which issues deserve the most attention and resources. For example, governments need to decide whether they should spend more money on education or on environmental protections. If you were a policy maker, which issue would you argue is more important—education or environmental protections? Why?

點此看中文翻譯

古普塔博士

我在課堂上提到過,政府制定公共政策來說明他們對影響社區的各種問題的反應。這個過程的一部分涉及選定和支持優先事項的理由,即哪些問題值得最多關注和資源。例如,政府需要決定他們是否應該在教育或環境保護上花費更多的金錢。如果你是一個政策制定者,你會認為哪個問題更重要—教育或環境保護?為什麼呢?

Discussion 討論

Kelly

We all live on planet Earth, and it is the only planet we have. Therefore, we must take care of it. Clearly, protecting the environment should be the government’s priority over education. I think the REAL question is, which approach to protecting the environment—restricting pollution, regulating population, promoting clean energy, or something else—should be the government’s priority.

點此看中文翻譯

凱莉

我們都生活在地球上,它是我們唯一的星球。因此,我們必須照顧好它。顯然,保護環境應該是政府優先於教育的工作。我認為真正的問題是,哪種保護環境的方法—是限制污染,是調節人口,是促進清淨能源,或其他什麼—應該是政府的優先事項。

Andrew

I disagree with Kelly that that the environment is more important than education. Education is actually the best way to protect the environment. Educated people can see how their decisions affect the world around them. Also, with better science and technology education, we can develop solutions to environmental problems. Therefore, I think the government should spend more money on education.

點此看中文翻譯

安德魯

我不同意凱莉的觀點,認為環境比教育更重要。教育實際上是保護環境的最好方式。受過教育的人可以看到他們的決定如何影響他們周圍的世界。另外,藉由更好的科學和技術教育,我們可以發展出解決環境問題的方法。因此,我認為政府應該花更多的錢在教育上。

接下來就是要求考生利用十分鐘寫出一段至少 100 個字的短文。

學術討論寫作重點提示

學術討論的回應應該如何進行?對於上述題目,ETS 提供了學術討論寫作的方向與注意事項。

寫出好成績的重點

To earn a top score, you should state and support your opinion about whether education or environmental protections should be the priority for governments to spend money on. Your response is a contribution to the other two students’ posts in an online discussion for the class. Be sure to add your own perspective to the discussion, not merely repeat ideas that have already been stated. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 100 words.

點此看中文翻譯

為了獲得高分,你應該說明並支持你的觀點,即政府應該優先考慮在教育還是環境保護上花錢。你的回答是對其他兩位學生在網上討論的貼文的貢獻。請確實在討論中加入你自己的觀點,而不是僅僅是重複已經說過的論點。通常情況下,一篇有效的回應將包含至少 100 個字。

You might agree with Kelly that environmental protections should be the priority. You will need to add your own support for this viewpoint. For example, you could argue that environmental protections are a more important investment to sustain our economies. You could point out that governments currently spend a great deal of money compensating for climate change catastrophes such as increased flooding, wind damage, or ruined crops. Investing more in environmental protections now could actually save governments money later on—which could then be used for more education funding. This would differ from the support Kelly gave for her opinion.

點此看中文翻譯

你可能同意凱莉的觀點,即環境保護應該是優先事項。你需要為此一觀點添加你自己的支持內容。例如,你可以說,環境保護是維持我們經濟的更重要投資。你可以指出,政府目前花了大量的金錢來彌補氣候變化帶來的災難,如增加的洪水、風災或毀壞的作物。現在對環境保護進行更多的投資,實際上可以在以後為政府節省資金—這些資金可以用於更多的教育經費。這與凱莉對其觀點所提出的支持內容有所不同。

If you agree with Andrew that education should be the bigger priority, you could add to his argument by pointing out the amount of research that universities conduct—not only on solving environmental problems, which Andrew alluded to, but also on treating diseases, creating useful technology, and developing sustainable agriculture. Therefore, education funding has a bigger overall impact on improving human lives than investment in environmental protections only. This would be a meaningful addition to the support Andrew provided for his opinion.

點此看中文翻譯

如果你同意安德魯的觀點,認為教育應該是更重要的優先事項,你可以透過指出大學所進行的大量研究來補充他的論點—不僅是安德魯所提到的解決環境問題,還有治療疾病、創造有用的技術和發展永續農業等。因此,教育經費對改善人類生活的總體影響比僅對環境保護的投資更大。如此能夠對安德魯為其意見所提供的支持賦予有力的補充。

You may find you agree with a point Kelly made about the environment even though you think education is more important. Or you might even find that your opinion about government priorities depends on certain factors—that education should be a priority in some circumstances, environmental protections in others. This is perfectly acceptable as long as you explain and support your reasoning. There is no “correct” answer to the question. The important part of this task is to make sure that you state your opinion and provide reasonable, relevant support for it in a way that makes a meaningful contribution to the online discussion. Try to develop your opinion as well as you can within the time limit. A well-developed response will contain clearly appropriate reasons, examples, and details—ones that do a good job supporting or illustrating your own viewpoint.

點此看中文翻譯

你可能會發現你同意凱莉所提出關於環境的觀點,儘管你認為教育更為重要。或者你甚至可能發現,你對政府優先事項的看法取決於某些因素—在某些情況下教育應該是優先事項,在其他情況下環境保護應該是優先事項。這是完全可以接受的,只要你解釋並支持你的推理。這個問題沒有「正確」答案。這項考試的重要部分是確保你陳述你的觀點,並提供合理、相關的支持,以便對線上討論做出有意義的貢獻。請嘗試在規定的時間內盡可能地充分表達你的觀點。完善的回應將包含明確適當的理由、例子和細節—這些都能有力地支持或說明你自己的觀點。

The quality and accuracy of the sentence structure and vocabulary you use to express your ideas is also very important and part of what is considered when your response is scored. The task context—a post to an online discussion group—is not quite as informal as you might think.

點此看中文翻譯

你用來表達你想法的句型結構和詞彙的品質與準確性也非常重要,也是評分時考慮的部分內容。此項任務背景—向線上討論群組發表貼文—並不像你想像的那樣非正式。

While the task asks you to contribute to a discussion with fellow students, imagine that the professor would also be reading your post. It is true that your tone might be more casual than what you would use in an academic paper, but you should still follow standard grammar rules. Also, if disagreeing with another student post, be sure to express your disagreement in a respectful way as you would in a real online discussion.

點此看中文翻譯

雖然考試任務要求你為同學們的討論做出貢獻,但想像一下,教授也會閱讀你的貼文。誠然,你的語氣可能比你在學術論文中使用的更隨意,但你仍應遵循標準的語法規則。此外,如果不同意另一位學生的貼文,一定要以尊重的方式表達你的不同意見,就像你在真正的線上討論中一樣。

重點整理

針對上述官方提供的寫作方向說明,我們簡單整理一下學術討論寫作時應該注意的重點。

  1. 確實在討論中加入自己的觀點,而不是僅僅是重複已經說過的論點。
  2. 字數至少 100 個字。
  3. 可以同意他人觀點,但需要添加自己的支持內容。
  4. 自己的看法可以採取折衷觀點—在某些情況下支持甲方,在其他情況下支持乙方。
  5. 學術討論問題沒有「正確」答案。
  6. 必須陳述自己的觀點,並提供合理、相關的支持,以便對討論做出有意義的貢獻。
  7. 在規定的時間內盡可能地充分表達自己的觀點。
  8. 完善的回應將包含明確適當的理由、例子和細節。
  9. 句型結構和詞彙的品質與準確性非常重要,亦是評分標準之一,勿以非正式的文句或詞彙進行寫作。
  10. 語氣可能比在學術論文中使用的稍隨意,但仍應遵循標準的語法規則。
  11. 若不同意其他學生的貼文,一定要以尊重的方式表達自己的不同意見。

學術討論寫作範文

說明完學術討論的寫作大綱之後,我們來看看實際學術寫作應該如何寫。

範文題目

Instruction 指引

Your professor is teaching a class on economics. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.

In your response you should:

  • express and support your opinion
  • make a contribution to the discussion

An effective response will contain at least 100 words. You will have 10 minutes to write it.

點此看中文翻譯

你的教授正在講授一門經濟學課程。寫一篇文章回應教授的問題。

在你的答覆中,你應該:

  • 表達和支持你的觀點
  • 建言獻策

一篇有效的回應將包含至少100個字。你將有 10 分鐘時間來進行寫作。

Question 問題

Dr. Achebe

When people are asked about the most important discoveries or inventions made in the last two hundred years, they usually mention something very obvious, like the computer or the cell phone. But there are thousands of other discoveries or inventions that have had a huge impact on how we live today. What scientific discovery or technological invention from the last two hundred years—other than computers and cell phones—would you choose as being important? Why?

點此看中文翻譯

阿切貝博士

當人們被問及過去兩百年中最重要的發現或發明時,他們通常會提到一些非常明顯的東西,如電腦或手機。但是還有成千上萬的其他發現或發明對我們今天的生活方式產生了巨大的影響。除了電腦和手機之外,過去兩百年中的科學發現或技術發明你會選出哪項認為重要的?為什麼?

Discussion 討論

Paul

I mean, we’re so used to science and technology that we are not even aware of all the things we use in our daily lives. I would probably choose space satellites. This technology happened in the last hundred years, and it has become important for so many things. Just think about navigation, or telecommunications, or even the military.

點此看中文翻譯

保羅

我認為,我們如此習慣於科學和技術,甚至沒有注意到我們日常生活中使用的所有東西。我可能會選擇太空衛星。這項技術出現在過去的一百年裡,它對很多事情都變得很重要。只要想想導航,或電信,甚至是軍事。

Claire

I am thinking about medical progress. Like, for example, when scientists discovered things about healthy nutrition. I am thinking of identifying all the vitamins we need to stay healthy. I am not sure exactly when the vitamin discoveries happened, but I know they are very important. Our health is much better than it was 200 years ago.

點此看中文翻譯

克萊兒

我認為是醫學上的進步。例如,當科學家發現有關健康營養的東西時。我在想確定我們保持健康所需的所有維生素。我不確定維生素的發現究竟是何時發生的,但我知道它們非常重要。我們的健康比 200 年前要好得多。

看完了考試的 Instruction, Question 以及兩位同學的 Discussion 之後,托福考生必須利用 10 分鐘的時間寫出自己的主張與支持內容。

5分(滿分)寫作

考生寫作內容

In the past 200 years, tons of scientific discoveries or technological inventions have been shown to the world. If I had to choose one in particular it will probably be vaccine or antibiotics. With Pasteur's work and discoveries, the world changed in a way people couldn't imagine. So many people were dying really young because at that time life's conditions were not as good as the one we have now. With vaccine, we could now irradicate diseases that were killing millions of people, we learn so much about the immune system and ways our body was reacting to pathogens and the answers he could produce to defend us against it. Medicine evolved so much and keeps evolving every day because scientists are curious to understand how our body is working and how he is able to communicate with our environment. People aged 40 are now not that old and still have a really long life to live and enjoy when 2 centuries ago it was synonymous of 80% chance of dying. (171 words)

點此看中文翻譯

在過去的 200 年裡,無數的科學發現或技術發明展示在全世界的眼前。如果我必須特別選擇一個,那可能是疫苗或抗生素。隨著巴斯德的研究和發現,世界以人們無法想像的方式改變了。過去許多人非常年輕時就過世,因為當時的生活條件沒有我們現在的好。有了疫苗,我們現在可以對奪走數百萬人生命的疾病進行根除(註:原文此處為錯字),我們對免疫系統和我們的身體對病原體的反應方式以及他能產生的保護我們免受其害的答案瞭解得很多(註:此處原文有點胡言亂語)。醫學發展如此之多,而且每天都在發展,因為科學家們好奇地想瞭解我們的身體是如何工作的,以及他如何能夠與我們的環境溝通。現在 40 歲的人並不老,仍然有很長的餘命,可以生活和享受,而在 2 個世紀前,這是 80% 死亡機會的代名詞。

評分說明

對於本篇5分學術討論寫作,ETS 的考官提出了評分說明。
考官評分說明

This is a fully successful response. The writer chooses vaccines/antibiotics as the most important invention of the past 200 years. The author then provides a description, for contrast, of what life was like before Pasteur’s work (people dying young) and after the vaccine was created (millions of lives saved, more understanding of the immune system). The writer continues on to point out that medicine continues to evolve because of Pasteur’s work and how human lifespans have been extended. Overall, the response provides well-elaborated explanations and details to support the main opinion and provides a relevant contribution to the discussion.

點此看中文翻譯

這是一篇完全成功的回答。作者選擇了疫苗/抗生素作為過去 200 年中最重要的發明。然後,作者為了對比,描述了巴斯德研究進行之前的生活(人們英年早逝)和疫苗誕生之後的生活(拯救了數百萬人的生命,對免疫系統有了更多瞭解)。作者繼續指出,由於巴斯德的研究和人類壽命的延長,醫學在繼續發展。整體來說,該回答提供了精心的解釋和細節來支持主要觀點,並對討論作出了相關的貢獻。

While there are almost no errors in grammar and word choice, there are a few minor ones that have little impact on meaning (such as “life's conditions were not as good as the one we have” rather than “were not as good as they are now,” and “how our body is working and how he is able to communicate” rather than “how it is able to communicate”). However, these errors are fairly minor and such errors might be expected when writing under timed conditions. The writer is able to use some complex sentences and relatively precise vocabulary, which is expected in a 5-level response.

點此看中文翻譯

雖然在語法和選詞方面幾乎沒有錯誤,但也有一些對意思影響不大的小錯誤(如 “life's conditions were not as good as the one we have”,而不是 “were not as good as they are now,”, “how our body is working and how he is able to communicate”,而不是 “how it is able to communicate”)。然而,這些錯誤相當小,在有時間限制的條件下寫作時,可以預期會出現這樣的錯誤。作者能夠使用一些複雜的句子和相對精確的詞彙,這在 5 分級答卷中是應該出現的。

4分寫作

考生寫作內容

From my personal point of view, I think the most important invention is the light bulb. Before it was invented, people had have to use candles for illumination in the evening. It's performance is not very stable, and it is produce really high tempreture which would probably lead to a fire accident. Light bulbs, however, produce constant and bright lighting at nights. One light bulb could use for several years, which is quite convenient-people don't need to storage many bulbs. What's more, it is safer than past candles. This is a huge progress in technology, and I consider it as the most vital invention from the last 200 years. (109 words)

點此看中文翻譯

從我個人的觀點來看,我認為最重要的發明是燈泡。在它被發明之前,人們不得不在晚上使用蠟燭來照明。它的性能不是很穩定,而且會產生非常高的溫度,很可能會導致火災事故。然而,燈泡卻能在晚上產生持續而明亮的照明。一個燈泡可以使用幾年,這很方便,人們不需要儲存很多燈泡。更重要的是,它比過去的蠟燭更安全。這是技術上的巨大進步,我認為它是過去 200 年中最重要的發明。

評分說明

對於本篇4分學術討論寫作,ETS 的考官提出了評分說明。
考官評分說明

This is a generally successful response. The writer chooses the light bulb as the most important invention and contrasts it with the disadvantages of using candles (their unstable performance, high temperature, and possibility of fire. The writer then names several advantages of the light bulb (a stable, long-lasting performance; brightness; and safety). Notice these points are in direct contrast to the mentioned drawbacks of candles, which is an effective way to support the choice. However, the argument might have been a little stronger if the writer had discussed not only why light bulbs are better than candles, but also why light bulbs are the most important invention of the past 200 years (other than computers and cell phones, perhaps by mentioning at least one way in which they have helped societies progress.

點此看中文翻譯

這是一篇基本上成功的回答。作者選擇了燈泡作為最重要的發明,並將其與使用蠟燭的缺點(性能不穩定、溫度高、可能起火)進行對比。然後作者說出了燈泡的幾個優點(穩定、持久的性能;亮度;和安全性)。注意到這些觀點與提到的蠟燭缺點形成了直接的對比,這是支持選擇的有效方式。然而,如果作者不僅討論了為什麼燈泡比蠟燭好,而且還討論了為什麼燈泡是過去 200 年中最重要的發明(除了電腦和手機之外,也許可以提到至少一種有助於社會進步的其他發明),那麼論證可能會更有力一些。

While the writer uses a nice variety of grammatical constructions and fairly precise vocabulary, the number and type of errors in grammar and vocabulary prevent it from reaching the highest score level. Multiple small errors such as “had have to use”, “it is produce”, “one light bulb could use for years”, and “don’t need to storage” are distracting for the reader even though the intended meaning is still usually clear.

點此看中文翻譯

雖然作者使用了很好的各種語法結構和相當精確的詞彙,但語法和詞彙方面的錯誤的數量和類型使其無法達到最高分水準。多個小錯誤,如 “had have to use”, “it is produce”, “one light bulb could use for years”, 與 “don’t need to storage” 等,會讓讀者分心,儘管原本想表達的意思通常還是很清楚的。

托福寫作評分標準

在看完了官方提供的題目與附評語的學術討論寫作範文之後,下列將新版的寫作評分標準附上,供有興趣的考生仔細研究,以求得等級的寫作成績。

托福寫作評分標準

結論

雖然托福此次改版動機的官方說法是要提供考生一種更佳的體驗,但是相信沒有考生想要考第二次。因此如果考生必須參加 7 月 26 日以後的 2023 新制托福 iBT 考試,那麼最好是事先做好萬全的準備。

在取代原本獨立寫作而新增加的學術討論寫作部分,其核心架構其實就是一段濃縮過後的獨立寫作,只不過是必須要在 10 分鐘內完成原本 30 分鐘內寫出的內容。在論點提出、論述方式、支持內容、句型詞彙方面的要求並沒有不同。新式寫作對考生的好處是可以少寫些字,難處是時間變短了,要面面俱到的時間壓力增加了,同時寫作過程中一旦踩雷的話,挽救的機會也減小了。

總歸一句,考場在走,技術要有。有萬全的準備是托福破百,快樂「脫」福的不二法門。

托福寫作密集速成

從入門到精通 密集系列教學 實體/雲端/一對一

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